Suicide
by Lady Morgain
Summary: Sirius, Remus, a conversation and knife. After the darkness there'll be light. Who will survive and who will fall. And when that's decided, who said the victims weren't the winners? Explanation is provided inside.


Ok, so welcome to this fanfiction.

**Please note** that this story is not and will never be normal. This story is, as a matter of fact, the product of a very disturbed mind, and I should know, it's mine. If you can not deal with an issue such as suicide, I suggest you leave right now. Also if you cannot accept people being gay you may feel free to leave. If you think you can handle these things, feel free to read on.

**Disclaimer:** This story is loosely based on Harry Potter, a series of books I do not own. J.K. Rowling, as author of these books holds any rights to this original work. I merely borrowed two characters and put them in a weird position. I don't own, you don't sue.

**Explaination, just to help you (in other words, feel free to skip): **This story contains mostly dialoge for character action. The first part is a conversation betwee two characters. I do not tell you who is who, I just leave that to your imagination. All text in _italic type_ are thoughts, these thoughts, in the first part, all belong to the same person, anything said on the same line as the thouht belongs to that person too. Then the second part. This part contains a unidentified female character, again, never mind who it is, use your own inmagination.

**And lastly:** Please, please, please, do not feel motivated by this fic to do something you might regret later. If feel like you might do such a thing, please feel free to send me a message, and I'll personally talk you out of anything you might have concidered doing. After having said that, i hope you will find this fic interesting.

0o0o0

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt at all…"

_The knife in your hand is trembling my lover, I've never seen you this unconfident__._ "Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be."

_Maybe because your voice trembles, maybe because I'm scared to death by our actions?_"No reason. Just wanted to make sure."

"I'm sure. Are you?"

"I think so…"

"Don't think, be sure."

"I'm sure."

"Don't worry, I'm with you. I tried it before, remember, when you found me."

"I remember. I'm glad I found you, even though you didn't want to be saved."

"I'm glad you found me too. I didn't know back then, what I would have missed if I hadn't known you."

_But it was in vain wasn't it? Look at us, what we are about to do._ "Doesn't the story end the same way if we go through with this?"

"No."

_You're so certain, how can you be? _"Really?"

"Yes, I wouldn't have loved you if you hadn't found me. I wouldn't have died happily."

"Why die then, if you're happy?"

"It's so much happiness, I can't bear it. I'll burst. And if my highs are as high as my lows are low, I don't want to wait around for that low."

_Maybe you are right, I know how low low can be, a long story, don't ask._ "I know."

"Let's do it."

"Alright."

"I'll cut yours if you cut mine…"

"Give me your wrist." Why _do I feel such fear? Didn't I agree on this, didn't I want it?_

"Trust me."

"You're right, it doesn't hurt at all." _And I'm not lying, I can't feel._

"No, it doesn't, see all the red? Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes, I can see it now, it's very beautiful."

"Come over here, let me hold you."

_Never let me go, as long as we are conscious, don't leave me._ "I know you won't leave, I just wanted to say…"

"I know."

"Everything is starting to turn red…"

"Yes, I can see it too."

"My vision becomes blurry." _But there's one other thing we said we would do._

"Where is your wrist? I can't seem to find it."

"It's here, can you feel it?"

"Yes, here's mine."

_Your blood is beautiful, it's just beautiful, and it tastes sweet on my lips, does mine taste the same to you? Or do you regret it now?_

"I love you. And by tasting your blood, I swear I will be yours forever. Even after death, no one and nothing will be able to part us now. I offer you my blood and I drink yours and through that I declare my undying love for you."

_And I repeat your words._ "I love you. And by tasting your blood, I swear I will be yours forever. Even after death, no one and nothing will be able to part us now. I offer you my blood and I drink yours and through that I declare my undying love for you."

"I love you."

"My vision is turning black, I can't see, but I love you."

"Forever."

"Forever. Just hold me. I'm yours now, forever." _Why didn't I see before that behind that blackness that is now covering my vision there is light. Bright light that will cover us, and bind us._

"Your voice is so weak, I can hardly hear you."

"No one will understand, but I do now. Now I know why you wanted this so badly. It feels free, like I can fly."

"Take my hand, we can fly!"

* * *

The next morning, she found them. On the cold tiles, in each others arms as if they were lying on a soft bed. A smile on their face. She didn't try to explain to the rest. They wouldn't understand. But they had told her, and she had understood. They needed her help to fix it, to steal time for them. Time so that they could reach eternity. She knelt down and prayed to any god of force that would be out there.

_Give them happiness__  
Give them the shining sun  
Give them the early morning light that takes them in__  
_

_Give them what they searched fo  
Give them the balance they'd lost__  
Give them power to stay true  
_

_Let they pledge not be in vein__  
Let others understand  
Let their choice be accepted  
_

_Let they friends survive their grieve  
__Let they way to healing be soft  
Let them see it hadn't to do with them  
_

_Help these travellers find they way  
Help them give and take  
_

_Help me find the strength to carry on_

o0o0o

And now I'll say goodbye, but not before I've said I hope that you liked this fic. I'd be happy if you left me a review. I don't care wether you want to tell me how I'm indeed completely disturbed or if you want to tell me you liked the fic, just drop me a note, I promise I'll reply.

Good luck to all of you who read this, and thank you


End file.
